The Modern Problem With Living In Teepees

The modern problem with living in teepees is that eventually someone will come around and tell you to leave because your teepee is propped up on their property. They'll ask where you got your teepee poles, then add that the trees you cut down to make them were probably on private property too. And where are you poopin'? Behind those trees in a pit? And that fire? Where'd you get them sticks? From around here? On my land? You're burning my sticks! Go on! Get! Before I call the cops, and they'll throw you away for trespassin' and fine you a million bucks. And if you don't pay up, you'll be in it up to your neck, and that teepee won't mean nothin'!

It's the same as the old-fashioned problem with living in teepees, except the old-fashioned teepee living people told that someone who came around to fuck off and chased him away in a big scuffle. Then war broke out when that someone who came around decided to come back again with reinforcements. And they steamrolled those motherfuckin' teepees, and divided up the land with invisible lines that they sold to gullible people—money for thin air!

But these gullible people turned money-serious and got protective of their investments with guns guns knives and guns, hiring cops and vigilantes to fight all intruders within their imaginary invisible lines. They built permanent structures where the teepees would have been, so they could stake their claim in deep and be there to proclaim “This land is my land!—from what you see here all the way to that fence! It's built along an imaginary line that cost me thousands of pieces of paper!”

Modernity! It's a money trap with no freedom! All the teepees are gone now! We killed them and robbed them and chased them away because we wanted so bad to be the only ones allowed to sit where they were sitting. I can't run to the wild and find a teepee town full of teepee people and plead them to let me teepee with them. Teepee towns no longer exist! Now, in the twenty-first century, you can't run anywhere without plowing into a fence! It's a trap! And we all live in it and say we love it because the only alternative we fought and destroyed.

And there can never be a teepee revolution because all those expensive guns and bombs are no match for a teepee made of sticks and skins. Fuming-mad gasoline trucks will run right through them while you sleep in em! And bullets from the guns of attackers defending their position with rain down with a “Yippee ki-yay motherfuckers! Hasta la vista! Go on! Get! Cause, I'll be back... to piss on your dead dirty faces!” The media will make a circus of the whole event. “Look at the clowns trying to say they are free! They squat on your land like mice carrying lice. Oooohhhh gross! Get rid of them—disgusting dirty people living in the dirt of the earth!”

What happened to the Land of the Free? It sure does cost a lot to live here. The Land of the Free is a marketing scheme! And it comes at an inflated price! What it costs now will cost even more, for generations to come!

I'd much rather live in a teepee town and rest my head on the dirt next to a small fire wondering how anyone could live so long without touching the earth. No gasoline guzzlin'. No electricity buzzin'. No cubicle filled building needed to earn nothing I don't already have for free.

Freedom! Real freedom! Not this fake talk of paper money buying advertised freedom! That's not free at all—just something to buy into like religion or fashion or packaging design! Real freedom is escape! And we're all trapped by money and fences.