23.9.08

Smothered

Breathe in. Shwoook. Breathe out. Pheewww. One more time. In... Shooooook. Out... Pheeewwww.

My fingers feel as shaky as my thoughts. I think I drank too much coffee. I think I want this... no that. This and that. I want to find a bigger house to live in. I want to feel that I have more space to move in. I want to take more photos. I want to write. I want to draw. I want to do them all, and collect them into books. I feel like I should have started one of them already. I feel like I should be doing one or the other, or the one after that, instead of writing this right now.

I just want to feel satisfied, despite our human nature to feel otherwise. Backspace. Backspace. Delete. Delete. Delete.

Just click publish already. Get it over with and move on.

2 comments:

(e) said...

Keep doing this. Be my spark from afar.

(e) said...

Not that I wish it on anyone, but there is a kind of reassurance in the fact that someone else, even someone I look up to, someone who inspires me, is wrestling with similar thoughts and obstacles...

The other day I was working on a freelance job... absolutely struggling with the design and I thought to myself, "Self, what has happened to you? When did you become a one-trick pony."

Sometimes it's more about the process of doing than the end product, no?